I Miss The Sea Breeze

Don't worry, my entry this time xde part sedih2. Sorry lar I didn't mean to make anyone sad. I just felt that I needed to express my feelings at that time, that's all. Sedey2 jugak dalam hati but we both maintain cool, gelak-gelak, gedik-gedik and happy almost all the times, yeah! :D Apa2 pun kami tetap bahagia dulu, kini dan selamanya, INSYAALLAH. Amin.

I am left all alone in the house since hubby is in Nagoya right now bringing the trainees for sightseeing. Well... it is part of his job and he is paid to do that. I could join them but hubby and myself thought that it is a bit leceh if I tagged along. Last time hubby called me in the morning when they just arrived there and they were at the amusement park near the new outlet center in Mie-ken. Sampai ke situ pegi nyer semata2 nak main roller-coaster panjang tu ;P Kalau belikan handbag baru ke takpe lah jugak kan? kehkehkeh ;P I think at this time they have made their way to the beach sebab nak mandi laut katanya. Jeles nyer!

Anyway we went to Toyama-ken on last Saturday and only came back on Sunday. It was our first time reaching there and it was so much fun I must say. First and foremost thanks a zillion to the host family consists of PG, M*rni and little Za*na-chan for their great hospitality. Nanti boleh kitorang serang lagi ye? hihi ;D Actually M*rni had been inviting us to their place for so many times since she was pregnant with Za*na-chan but we never couldn't make it because of a few reasons which kept restraining us. However Alhamdulillah we finally could make it on last weekend. I just made sausage pizza buns for us to eat during the journey and I also baked simple chocolate chips muffins for them. But despite of the good taste, my bun didn't do justice for its look. Whereas for the muffin, it wasn't soft enough as usual I made it might be because I didn't stir the batter long enough until it was really moistened.

At first we decided not to spend the night there. But once we entered the car, ready to leave the house, we were shocked to see the total number for the time needed to reach there and what more the total distance between our places! We didn't imagine it would be that far since actually technically our places are quite near to each other. Only then I realized there is a HUGE long mountain range between our prefectures so instead of following 'I' shape route as I imagined earlier which is actually non-existed at all, we had to use the only highway available and follow the 'U' shape route as shown on the car navigator. Fortunately I had packed our clothes earlier because I thought just in case we would spend the night there. We started our journey at about 8.00 a.m. M*rni did inform us about the new highway which would consume only half of the earlier total time traveled. Hubby thought that we would find the entrance to the new highway in between our journey. Not that we knew we were already on the wrong route since the beginning because the new highway is actually on the totally opposite direction hihi ;P

We traveled from the bottom part of our prefecture towards the top part, followed by entering into the left to the bottom part of Niigata-ken (the prefecture which was hit by HUGE earthquake a few months back), and then made a U turn and traveled along the high terrain facing the open sea coast before finally entering Toyama-ken phew! We reached there at about 12.40 pm right at their apatto parking area. We were served with Laksa Kel*ntan or L*ksam, tiramisu and rose syrup drink (one of the drinks I craved during pregnant before ;P) once we reached there. We filled our already grumbling tummies heartily and devoured all the delicious foods served burp! It was my 2nd time eating Laksa Kel*ntan and it was interesting to try new food :D Now I cant's stop visualizing the Laksa Kel*ntan M*rni made causing me to crave for the usual Laksa K*dah I make nyum-nyum! Well... I already made it last night! :D Owh this also reminds me to ask for the tiramisu recipe of PG's version. I have a few collection of tiramisu recipes and each has its own specific taste, that's why I like it :)

Then after prayer at about 3.30 pm we left the house and went to the beach. There were so many people there enjoying the sea water or sunbathing. The car parks also were almost occupied. We found a spot and started picnicking and barbecuing there. Apparently the host family had prepared everything and the guys started grilling all the marinated chicken, beef, squid, prawn and etc. We were also joined by other M*laysian and I managed to get to know some of them. Well... as usual it was a good feeling to be surrounded by M*laysian especially the girls after quite some times since it is really a rare occasion in our place. When the sun was about to set... then only we got ourselves into the water. It was so joyful! That was my first time enjoying J*pan sea not like hubby since he had experienced this before for a few times. It was actually an open sea so the wave was quite fierce. Fortunately the authority has put up a few breakwaters over there so it was actually safe for visitors to swim. I got to see some people surfing and it was my first time too seeing such activity alive. Well... actually I don't know how to swim so I just dipped myself all the time. The water was very salty... yeah of course duh~~~, a bit turbid and cold. Whereas for the beach was hurm quite nice actually but quite dirty too might probably because of huge number of visitors thronging the place everyday during this scorching hot summer.

After about 1 hour in the water the darkness was about to set in. So we moved out of the water and had a change. We are not sunburn since we got there when it was already late afternoon and the sun had made its way down to the west. Then after getting all the stuffs into the car, we separated from each other and made our way home. At night after prayer and resting a bit, we went out again with the host family. They brought us to a place up to the hill to see the night view of Toyama. It was e very beautiful scenery and we took some pictures. We never could enjoy this kind of scenery at night in our place since most shops stopped their businesses at 8.00 p.m except izakaya, pub, bar and the likes. Then we made way to a family restaurant and had some late dinner. We were already so sleepy to even eat so I just had a bowl of squid tempura salad, hubby had a plate of spaghetti while M*rni and PG had a glass of ice cream each. Za*na-chan had already fallen asleep on her ummi by that time. Lastly we directly went home then. After taking bath and doing whatever we should, we had a short midnight chit-chat before finally went into bedroom. I continued having some pillow talks with M*rni and finally dozed off at about 2.30 a.m because we were already knackered and it was already too late at that time. Gomen ne M*rni tak pasal2 je kena tdo lewat malam tu :D

On Sunday we woke up at about 9.00 a.m. We took our baths and I packed our bags. Murni cooked some fried noodles, hot strawberry tea and air sirap bandung for us. Sedappp M*rni masak! Memang lah kalau orang masak semua sedap kan? Kalau tuan rumah goreng telur ajer pun mesti menjilat siku kesedapan asalkan jangan diri sendiri yang masak kehkehkeh ;P Actually M*rni is 2months pregnant with her 2nd baby. Betul2 rasa menyusahkan dia je plak. Never mind... nanti datang tempat kitorg lagi... masa musim ringo gari ke kan. I will cook for you plak that time okay :D After filling up our tummies, we left the house towards the Toyama F*mily Park. It was quite fun there only that it was very hot made us drenched with sweat. The park is quite big... since it is actually consists with a zoo area, picnic park, small theme park, activity center and so on. We had fun looking at the animals. Owh yes I love zoo by the way ;P Macam budak2 ke? Eh taklah jiwa aje muda hihi ;P After walking about half of the route around the park we were already tired so we hopped onto the zoo bus and had a thorough sight-seeing around the zoo. Glad that we took the bus because it was still far for us to complete the path and reach back to the entrance. I wished we could spend more time there and actually I really wanted to try the paddle boat but we were already running out of time.

Finally it was time for us to bid goodbye to the host family. They directed us to the T*yama-nishi interchange and we separated there. Again thanks so much to the host family for their treat towards us. Siap tapaukan air sirap bandung lagi sebab I mentioned to her it is hubby's favorite drink and she even gave me some syrup rose cordial lagi. Wat malu je hihihi ;P Tapi suka! Thanks ye! ;D Well... I was rather happy to reach home fast since we were feeling already too tired. But at the same time I was really excited of finally got to reach Niigata-ken. I don't know why I was so excited to reach there. Might be because I always thought that no way I ever gonna reach Niigata since it is quite far from our place. So... I was quite jakun along the journey in Niigata. Ni belum sampai Hokkaido lagi nih. Kalau tak lagi lah pengsan terus sebab excited sangat hahaha! ;P I told hubby we should stop at the borderline between both prefectures and take picture with the Niigata signboard. But of course we couldn't stop since it was beside the highway ;P The highway was on the terrain of the mountain range which separated our prefectures. There were many highway tunnels along the seaside and we had to go through one after another. I was happy to see the blue wide open sea along the coast. I was rather sad too to be leaving such a very nice place. I love sea and I love it for the fact that I felt my mind was so peaceful as wide as the eyes could see upon the ocean. I felt as like all the burdens in my mind could finally be freed, fly away far from me and finally vanished from my view :) Along the way... I tried to snap as many pictures of the sea as I could. I also tried to snap the pictures of any signboard written Niigata on it hihihi ;P Hubby thought I was being funny and non-sense ;P

Hubby decided to follow the long route instead of the new route since we planned to stop at the cosmos garden. The place is actually situated near one of the interchange along our journey. Honestly I kept bugging him since last year to bring me to any flower farm. At first I told him I wanted to go to a sunflower park in K*nazawa. Which meant we had to follow the new highway route. However turned out the park is slightly deviated from the actual highway route and furthermore M*rni said that the sunflower was already started to fall off since its season has coming to an end. So we decided to try going to the cosmos garden. We finally got into Nagano-ken and not long after that we got into the interchange and the garden was only about 1km from there. We reached the highland and I was so excited to finally got to be in that park. The garden is actually a place for snowboarding during winter. So during other seasons the highland park is turned into garden, agriculture park, hiking center or grazing farm.

We got to know that the peak season for cosmos viewing is on coming September. I was quite disappointed since I could only see green all around me and only little non-green colors. There was flower garden which consists of many kinds of flowers grown. I don't know what are the names of the flowers but they were so magnificently beautiful. Same as the cosmos... the flowers were also still not fully grown-up and the buds weren't fully blooming yet. Because of that, we tried to find a suitable spot to snap pictures with the flowers. But I'm sure it would be much more lovely and interesting if the flowers were already fully bloomed. As usual I became the instant-infamous-public-figure and the eyes were on me obviously because I was wearing tudung. It is a very rare scene... owh yeah they should see someone wearing tudung alive rather than in TV. Grab the chance and see me people! ;P ;P ;P Some people tried waving hands to us... some tried to smile and let them noticed and some tried to approach and create a short conversation. Well... they were just being nice and friendly... so that's good actually. Since sometimes I encountered a few who obviously showed that they doesn't like foreigners too especially M*slim.

Lastly, we hurriedly took a chance riding on the gondola. The weather was quite cool and the wind was blowing softly every now and then. I even had to take same picture of us for a couple of times since the blowing wind kept making my tudung kelepet :P We enjoyed the view towards on top of the mountain and told the person in charged that we directly wanted to make way down with the gondola because we wanted to reach before dark. It was a very serene and splendid view with rows of pine trees at our left and right, the view of the town down the highland, the big lake in between the mountains, the cloudy blue grayish sky, the foggy air and the green plants view which easing to the eyes. It was so SPLENDID! :D After reaching the ground we shared a cone of blueberry soft cream and exited the place. I really wish we would go there again next time before going back for good. We continued our journey and stopped once at the R&R? (I don't know what they call it in here) to perform prayers and finally reached home at 7.15 p.m phew! :)

Owh hubby called again just now and they haven't finished enjoying all the rides at the park. They are now queing up to ride the longest roller-coaster there *shriek*! Ambik peluang la tu bini xde kat sebelah ceh :P I hate extreme rides anyway. By the way... we are going to Nagano-shi tomorrow because we want to apply for re-entry visas. Yeah we are planning to go back for holiday during the coming new year holiday. May our wish be granted, InsyaAllah. Semoga Allah murahkan rezeki, mudahkan jalan dan urusan, Amin. Nak balik! Nak makan baaanyak benda! Even list mengidam haritu pun tak habis qada' lagi kehkehkeh! ;P Anyway, on the way back tomorrow we are planning to stop by at N*sah's house in Matsumoto before heading to Suwa Lake to watch hanabi taikai. Tomorrow's night gonna be the biggest hanabi taikai there. Whereas on coming weekend I guess we are going for picnic again beside the river. But I'm stiil not sure to just go with each other or to invite R*gine and her troops to come along. So... basically that's how we are spending our natsu yasumi this time :)

Last but not least, enjoy the latest pictures of us during last picnic in here, holidaying in Toyama-ken and cosmos viewing in upper Nagano-ken :D

It Was Touching To Me

On Ayang Darling

It was after the Isya' prayer on last Monday night. He recited the do'a. I Amin-ed the do'a. I kissed his hands. I stood up and took off my telekung. While folding my telekung I looked at him. He wasn't moving from the sejadah and he looked at me. Then suddenly.....

Him: Teringat la baby. Kalau tak mesti sekarang dah 3 bulan kan?

Me: Yeke... Hmm dua bulan lebih la.

Before I could continue any further.....

Him: Sedih la

I left the telekung right away. I turned and moved towards him. I knelled in front of him and looked at him in the eyes. His eyes were red and watery. I didn't know weather they were like that merely because he was really tired since it is quite a common nature of him or the eyes really got teary a bit. However I'm sure there was painful feeling bottling inside reflected from his eyes and from the way he voiced it out. I hugged him straight away. I rubbed his back and said.....

Me: Ala jangan la cedih. Sabar ek.

Silenｔ.

Him: Hehe... takde pape lah.

Before I knew it, my voice was already wobbly. I couldn't blurt any more words. I didn't know what was the right thing to say to him and at the same time applicable to me. Everything choked in my throat..... He hugged me and rubbed my back too. I continued.....

Me: Jangan la cakap macam tu. Sedih tau.

I let him off and we looked to each other eyes. Although I did try not to but the tears already welled up my eyes. Just before the tears spilled over my eyelids he pulled me back towards him and I buried my face onto his lap.

Him: Ala jangan la sedih. Sabar kay. Takpela... dia doakan kiter bahagia.......... so on and so forth.

Me: Emm.

I heard what he was saying. But they sounded like bubbles in the water. I was drowned in my emotion and I was trying hard to stabilize myself. Then I looked up to him.

Me: Abang ni orang dah selalu tahan2. Tetiba dia plak buat orang sedih.

Him: Yela sorry2.

I wiped my face. Tears still running down my cheeks. I was trying to shoo all the feelings away. I didn't want to let myself submerging into that sea of emotions again and again.

Me: Dah lah dah lah. Jom lah makan cepat.

I was still sobbing. But we tried to move our minds to anything else except that. Eventually we were back to normal. Fortunately the whole situation only took about less than 10 minutes :) Kononnya nak sabarkan orang lah. Tengok2 diri sendiri yang kena disabarkan hahaha! ;P

Honestly, hubby very rarely talked about that. In fact I am the one who just couldn't stop talking about that again and again. Until there was one time that he told me to stop mentioning anything related to that because every time I did, that would just make him sad. So since then, I started to avoid to even think about what had happened.

I know hubby as a very firm person in the heart. He is so contrast compared to me. So he looks strong and cool almost all the times. Since the day I first knew him I can say that until now he cried less than 10 times in front of me. In fact each session took him less than 2 minutes to cry, only a little tears dropped and sometimes his eyes were only appeared teary for about 1 minute. It was on that particular day that made him cried, for so many times, when he didn't care anymore that there were other people around him and I even heard him sobbed a little. Definitely because that really touched to the core of his heart which made the sturdiest man of mine crumbled and despaired. Yes he was so that sad. It made me even sadder to see him in that miserable state.

So it was very heart rendering when out of the blue he expressed his feeling to me. I then realized how much he had made things bottling inside of him that caused him to finally explode on that night. Truly, I mentioned to him about visiting the grave during this coming summer holiday earlier before the prayer. Might be that was what flashes back all the memories into his mind. It was sad to see him sad. But I was happy to see the person very dear to me was sad over the person we love and miss so much :) Well... I think it was sweet to see the fatherly side of him. Even though it was quite in a different way like most fathers do.


On New Camera

I did mention about going to picnic beside the river in my previous entry, didn't I? We woke up quite early than usual we do on that Sunday. Earlier on the night before hubby decided that we went out to buy new camera first before going to the picnic. Since we were already running out of time, hubby went out alone to purchase a camera and a few things needed for the bbq session. I waited at home and prepared whatever necessary. While at home, hubby kept calling me to inform about the cameras he saw and I checked on the models he mentioned in the internet. At first we decided to take 1 from Canon series but when at the shop he noticed 1 of the latest series from Fujifilm. I like the name Canon more but I knew I shouldn’t make the decision based on the brands only. So I browsed the net and studied hurriedly about both companies, cameras performances and weaknesses, list of top digital cameras and so on. Actually we were considering between Canon Digital IXUS 85 IS and Fujifilm FinePix 100fd. After fast thorough consideration of all aspects we decided to opt the latter since it has 12.0 mega pixels specification　rather than the first one which only has 10.0 mega pixels. The salesperson also recommended the latter since it gives more perfect picture quality in various conditions. After all, that is our first priority on choosing the camera.

I had read the user reviews and I already knew the cons side of the camera. However after configuring the camera I think the cons listed not applicable to me except for one which is it is lack of manual control. This is actually not really a problem at all since I’m just an amateur photographer. I've already tried configuring all the functions in the camera and I must say that it is a very sophisticated compact digital camera. However I will study all the functions available so that I can fully utilize the camera although I kind of very confused with all of the functions all the times :D To me, the most spectacular thing about the camera is it has infrared communication function which enabled me to transmit to and receive file from other hardware. It is fun and I really enjoy transferring the pictures from my hand phone to the camera. Now I have back 1 gadget that I love most to keep me occupied anywhere I go especially during outing and traveling :D Owh yeah hubby chose the black one since he thought it is boring to opt the common grey color. Never mind... black means elegance, right? ;P ;P ;P

Owh I'm so excited, "Listen to me, world! I finally have a new camera!!!. Mekacih ye Yang. XOXO beribu2 lemon!" :D Hehe jakun sekejap ye ;P


On Picnic

Our bbq picnic date went on very well as planned :D It was fun. Even though the thought towards my late Little Munchkin (LM) kept crossing my mind every once in a while. I thought it must be much fun if we could bring LM together and let him play with the cold water. I imagined putting him in the cute inflatable ring tube and see him paddling his hands and feet in the water hmmm :) But after a while I felt annoyed of why such thought kept bugging me hehe ;P Never mind... perhaps next year I could bring another LM together with us, InsyaAllah hohoho ;P

Anyway we brought green tea drinks, satay marinated chickens, peanut sauce, sliced cucumber, sliced onion, salt and yamame fishes? already threaded with sticks which hubby just bought from the suppa. Honestly at first I was quite reluctant to do bbq there since I thought that place would be crowded. Turned out, the river was just a small one, not like the one like in Ulu Yam which imagined. The place was quite deep in the woods and there were a few families were also having bbq there. We arrived there quite late at about 3.00 pm since we needed to charge the newly bought camera first. Hubby set up the bbq grill straight away while I organized the picnic mat and other stuffs before I sat there and looked on to hubby. He was fanning the fiery charcoal alone until he was all sweaty. It was funny to look at him like that. But then suddenly he said, "Tolong lah. Pemalas betul! Duduuuk je kat situ". I laughed at him and replied, "Yelahhh nak tolong lah ni!".

In the meanwhile of barbecuing and eating, we took the chance testing our new camera using the tripod. Obviously the outcome were wayyy better compared to if we used our old camera. So... it worth the money :D The environment was all green and shady. Once in a while the wind blowing softly that made us felt soo nice :) After grilling all the fishes and chickens we rested on the mat devouring all the foods to fill up our grumbling tummies. Hubby kept asking whether I like it or not of doing such activity together since it was actually our first time. Of course I said liked it and hope to do it again soon since the weather is still hot. Hubby said that next time we should build a camp, rested there and he wanted to take a nap there hehe. Anyway after that other visitors started to pack their things and one by one left their spots. As we finished eating... we too packed our stuffs and left them in the car.

We got into the river and surprisingly the water was quite cold despite of the very hot summer weather. The water was moving gently and there wasn't any high water fall there, yet it was so calming and nice. As usual we started to take pictures.... the thing we love to do together the most. We took the chance to use the modes available in the camera but seems like we have to practice more on using it especially the manual mode configuration part. We just played with the water and hubby just wet himself to the waist. He said earlier that he wanted to take a full dip but might be because he was feeling it wasn't fun if I didn't accompany him so he decided just to go back after that. Moreover the sun was about to set already and he also had a few things to do at home. I told him we should go there again with our friends to have simple picnic and take a dip especially during very hot coming weekends :D Kalau betul panas lah.


On National Anthem N*garaku

Last night when we both already tucked ourselves to bed and ready to sleep as usual we recited the do'a. We then wished goodnights and changed pecks to each other as part of our essentials. Then out of sudden I sang N*garaku and Sel*ngor State Anthem melodiously in a cheeky voice. I tried to continue singing the K*dah State Anthem but I forgot the lyric and melody. I just felt like doing it, so I did it. Okay, why N*garaku? It is because hubby kept bugging me since like forever to hear me sing N*garaku. I didn't want to sing it because I think that is non-sense and lame especially when people forced me to. It is annoying when he kept bugging me, "Nyanyi laaaaa nak dengar!". Surely the more he forced me to the more I didn't want to do it. Same as when he likes asking me to repeat my words simply because he loves hearing me saying it. It is spontaneous and the feeling is different if when I tried to repeat it and I just couldn't do it.

When every time I refused he kept accusing that I forgot the N*garaku. Owh COME ON lah! We sing that song since like forever. The song already pinned in the center of the head and we can't forget it even if we want to! But suddenly last night I sang it without him having to ask me first. So, I already sang my N*garaku ye Yang! Honestly, not only that. He asked me to sing Dor*emon song in a very cute way, so he said! Of course I didn't want to do it and he said I didn't obey his order as a husband and I didn't love him lah yada yada yada. He even made sour faces to me and sulked tapi jap je! Saje la tuh tetiba nak gedik! Of course I just ignored him~~~~~ :P :P :P Tak kuasa I tau! Abang sakit eh? ;P


That's all for my new updates. I’m going to put up all the pictures I've been wanting to upload soon! Hope that I'm not gonna be lazy for this. It is tedious and I hate it! But I love showing the pictures I took ;P Before I forgot... I don't think I’m gonna privatize my blog at the moment. Unless if 'kegatalan' ku to privatize the blog suddenly come and I can't resist the temptation of the idea privatizing the blog. But I think that it is just too 'leceh' since I have to log in every time I want view the blog kan? Sesapa, tolonglah halang! hehehe. Hmmm tengoklah :D

When Will It Be?

***Updated- I forgot that hubby is gonna have to work tomorrow arghhhh! (boringnyerhhh). No one to accompany me golek-golek peacefully on tomorrow morning *sob-sob* :(***


Hmmm hmmm hmmm.......... I'm feeling like want to blog but I don't actually have any specific idea in mind at this moment. First of all... it is windy today even though it is sunny as usual. But I'm pretty comfortable right now. Perhaps the weather is gonna stay like this for this weekend since we have some small agendas to entertain ourselves with.

By the way I didn't join the picnic beside the river on last Monday. As usual I was being sulked with him over a tiny matter which turned huge unexpectedly. So in the morning when he woke up he didn't urge me to wake up too or ask me to get ready. I was in between whether wanted to go or not but actually I silently kept waiting for him to tell me to get up. However apparently he just said flatly, "Abang keluar" and made himself gone *poof!* at the end :P :P :P Grrrrr so I ended up continuing to sleep until the noon. By the way it was gloomy and raining in the afternoon on that day so the bbq session was slightly ruined. But I'm sure they had FUNNNNN nonetheless :P :P :P I wonder why this kind of things should happen during a very important time? duh~~~. Apparently I started it but he was the one who took it wrongly thus caused me to get mad and lastly he became angry towards me too :P Anyway I still blamed it on him for not being understanding enough :P :P :P However he brought back the satay for me during the night still and definitely I didn't turn off the offer. Mekacih Ayang mmuahhh! ;P Mmm yummeh! It tasted like satay K*jang tapi tawar sket. So... since I missed it last week, that's why we (read: he) plans to go there again this weekend but this time only the 2 of us. Owh actually we went to other waterfall earlier on Saturday since it was so hot on that day. Well... it was so refreshing and I think want to go there again this weekend :D

I have a not so good news which is nobody would care less except myself lah! I have slightly added more weight since last weekend might probably due to all the foods I gobbled down during the makan-makan session and also from the bbq. Urghhh so I'm feeling a bit tensed already. Not that I ate that much but probably might be because the foods were high of cholesterol? Owh whatever! What I have been doing is to have a cup of my favorite hot N*scaffe with less sugar and 3 pieces salted biscuits for breakfast, just take Shaklee soy protein during lunch and have meal as usual during dinner but with a smaller portion of rice. I also drink green tea, eat more fruits, don't skip my supplements and avoid sweet stuffs and junk foods as much as I can. Now I'm thinking of to start starving myself :P Besides exercising maybe I should avoid to eat as often as possible? hohoho. I know that is not healthy. But I'm soo can't be patient to get my target weight. As for now it has been like a yo-yo from 49 to 48++ and back to 49 duh~~~. It is so annoying to see the number on the weight scale and sometimes I just feel like this thing is actually playing trick on me. But well... I still have much time right? All I have to do is just to keep determined on exercising and follow balanced diet which means from today onwards I'm gonna call it starving myself. Because that is actually what I'm going to do. I am DESPERATE, that's WHY ;P

It is going to be summer holiday coming soon and we have several plans in mind. But I think most of the times we just gonna spend times visiting several places near to our home only. Since we have some major agendas to take actions in a few months to come... so we need to save some budgets for those *wink-wink* ;P I just can't wait! By the way... why owh whyyy am I feeling the time is crawling so slowwwww?! It has only been 2++ months since I __________. Okay why I want the time to fly fast is because as I said... I have many important and interesting plans to execute. No wild guess is welcomed, I warn ya! :P Besides that... I really should work on my plants this coming holiday. The flower is coming out from my cherry tomato tree and seems like the fruits are coming out soon! As for my chillie tree there are more chillies coming out and I even had plucked some of them for cooking. Anyway, I hope we can really clear all the unwanted trees, weeds, wild flowers and long grass from the front compound. Since they have been the nests for the uninvited little neighbors all these while.

Anyway my everyday is kinda occupied depends on my mood. But most of the time I'm being productive and make use the time of the day. Well... at least by exercising. I don't easily feel tired once I start working out with the gym cycle or the stepper anymore. I guess I should start adding more resistance to them or just working out using them in a longer period. Usually in the morning after sending hubby to the front door to work... I will have my breakfast and at the same time surfing the net. I would check my email... read some blogs which have been my cuppa tea since forever, browsed the news headlines and have a look on some other things. After that I will launch Quran Explorer and let it plays from the start, turn on the volume just nice enough for me to hear the recitation from the bedroom and turned the pc monitor to hibernate. Then I would lie down in the bed and start to SMS to hubby whatever all the things I want to tell him including things I want him to take notes. Most of the times..... usually I would say that I miss him soo much and I can't sleep without him. Well... that is because I really feel of it that way even though he is just going to work as normally he does. Hubby rarely reply to me and even if he did it were just very short ones. But normally he would rise the matter once he reached home... just the important ones lah. As for all the mushy-mushy ones usually I am the one who would mention about it back and ask for him to reply verbally in front of moi hehehe ;P Saya bini yang gedik saya sedar!

I hate being at home alone without him because I don't feel secure since there is no one to look after me. I bet if I have the baby with me I would definitely feel more insecure without him with us. Owh obviously I don't sound like an adult by saying this :P :P :P But actually after all I just feel that I really miss him that's all and I don't like being alone. Due to that..... he had have 1 or 2 days of his annual leaves burned simply because in that morning I held him and told him not to go to work ;P Anyway after sending SMS to hubby I would fall asleep but I rarely able to sleep soundly simply because I feel insecure. Not that I can't take care of myself but the feeling just come hence that's how I feel. I just can't help it to feel that way okay. But at least Quran Explorer recitation keeps me calmer than usual most of the time. It has been my essential since then to keep it playing non-stopped every time I'm alone at home. It gives peace in the mind and heart to me and able to cast all the non-sense and unnecessary thoughts and sadness away :) Instead of listening to it... maybe I should read it myself more than I usually do. Surely I'm gonna get lots calmer by doing the latter more.

Lately I have realized that more silent readers within N*hon are reading my blog too. I really can't stop wondering who you are? hihihi :D Some of them are people I already knew and they also knew that I know them reading my blog. I kinda like to guess who they are from the traffic shown. However there are some whom I really don't have the idea who they are. So... mind to say HI to me? :D :D :D I hope you (read: silent readers in J*pan) don't mind. You don't need to really reveal yourself if you don't want to. You can use pseudonym and just tell me where you come from that's all. But if you don't, I will totally understand ;) Owh silent readers outside J*pan are also welcome to get out from the hiding and say HELLO :D Cehhh perasan macam ada ramai je orang baca blog dia (pointing to myself) ;P ;P ;P It is just that I keep wondering that how far we are from each other and it is interesting to be able to meet even at least in the blog. Itu aje tak lebih dari itu :)

Erm..... honestly sometimes I keep thinking to privatize my blog. I don't know why but I think it is an interesting idea to try though. Gatal kan????? :D Should I or should I not? ngeeeee ;D ;D ;D


PS- Abaikan tajuk di atas :P :P :P